Building a good relationship requires commitment. There are several life scenarios that might arise and put your partnership's strength and unity to the test. Having comparable basic principles will give you the courage and camaraderie you need to tackle those stumbling stones together.
Consider a person boarding a train. Assume the train is on its way to San Diego and the passenger wishes to travel to Sacramento. The traveler will be upset when he finds he has landed in San Diego rather than his intended location. To travel successfully, both the train and the passenger must be traveling in the same direction.
The same may be said about relationships. For you and your spouse to feel secure, protected, connected, and comfortable, to mention a few, same basic values are essential.
So, what are the values of a relationship? They are the guiding principles that govern your conduct; they are your personal viewpoint, not just on yourself, but also on others and the world. Core principles serve as the foundation for how you live your life.
When sharing your relationship principles with your spouse, make sure they have substance. Here are ten essential basic qualities for a happy relationship:
1. Trust
This is the most important core value. It is the bedrock of your connection. You basically have nothing without trust. According to a Strategic Psychology essay, you and your relationship must trust each other with everything you have. You must be certain that they will have your back, that you will have theirs, and that if children are involved, their wellbeing will take precedence over everything else.
You and your sweetheart can have a successful relationship. How? I have faith in both of you to always do your best for the sake of the relationship. If you genuinely trust your spouse, and they trust you, you will be able to overcome any obstacle.
2. Loyalty
This fundamental value is critical and goes hand in hand with trust. Being loyal, as well as having a loyal spouse, ensures that you are both on the same team. According to The Couples Expert, you're on the right track if both you and your honey are dependable and true to each other above everything else. Otherwise, it might be a warpath. I once saw a relationship where one of the partners lacked the loyalty "chip."
He was devoted to his family, but not to his wife. His family was his top priority. This certainly did not sit well with his wife. His parents had to have the final say on major choices, and when they made disparaging remarks about his wife, he retaliated.
He stayed mute and let her endure their verbal thrashing. This isn't being faithful to your relationship. Loyalty is an essential fundamental attribute for the long-term health and longevity of your partnership.
Your love will grow in the greatest possible way if you are devoted to each other. Isn't that the objective of every happy relationship?
3. Religion
This fundamental concept is critical, especially if you intend to raise children together. Many individuals place a high value on religion.
Despite any obstacles, you may determine that your partner's differing faith is unimportant. Kelsey Dallas writes in her piece Why Religious Compatibility Matters in Relationships, Religious differences may not destroy a relationship, but what about the consequences for your children, if you have them? How are you going to raise them? Will you allow them to make their own decisions when they are old enough? Or are you going to say, "The children must be Christian/Muslim raised." And that's it!?"
Even if the couple arrives to the same conclusion, there is the problem of extended family to consider. If parents are deeply interested in their religion—the one you were raised in—they may want their grandkids to be as well, and may put undue pressure on them to do so.
If it's essential to you, make sure you talk about it and that you're both on the same page. And if you are, you are adding another pillar to an already strong connection.
4. Family
Growing up, you may have wished to marry, have children, and have extended relatives nearby. That has always been one of your main values. But what if your spouse doesn't want children and wants to relocate to Africa to study elephants? You're not going to make it very far. Family is a very important virtue that both of you must share.
I know a couple that decided they didn't want to have children at first. Everything went swimmingly until the wife decided she wanted children. Unfortunately, her spouse had not changed his mind.
A decision has to be taken. Did she abandon her spouse of 12 years in order to meet another man, fall in love, and then have children? Or did she stay with the guy she loved and abandon her dream of starting a family? She selected the latter, but with disastrous results.
Determine your family values early on. Do you want to be close to your extended family? How frequently do you intend to visit? Do you wish to start your own family? How many, if any? If this essential principle is not shared, your partnership may come to an end.
5. Communication
Without a question, this essential principle is critical to the growth and success of your partnership. According to Saminu Abass' post, communicating with each other will bring you closer; it will help you to get to know each other as thoroughly as possible. If you like to keep things to yourself, believing that no one, not even your spouse, needs to know your business, while your partner enjoys discussing every emotion, the relationship will most likely collapse.
Perhaps you like to process issues before discussing them, but your partner prefers to discuss them right away. That's OK. It can still work as long as you both desire to keep the channels of communication open. You and your honey can schedule a time to discuss and address the issue(s). When there is no conversation, the problem occurs.
Remember to share the good news as well. Communicating with one another is an investment in your relationship. Your relationship will benefit whenever you share a bit of yourself and your life, and you will be rewarded with more closeness.
6. Lifestyle
You enjoy going trekking every weekend, whereas your friend prefers to stay at home and binge-watch New Amsterdam. Every partnership requires a certain way of life. If you both want to do separate things all the time, spending only a few minutes a week together, your relationship is unlikely to thrive.
I'm not suggesting you have to be attached at the hip, but it's a good idea to spend quality time together. If you're an outdoorsman and your spouse is a homebody, or if you enjoy going out every weekend and your partner sits in the corner counting the minutes until they can go home, that might be a stumbling block.
It's critical that you do things together as a pair; that you love doing the same things. However, even if you enjoy chasing storms and your spouse enjoys taking walks in the park, your relationship may still operate quite well. Just make sure that the majority of your other basic principles are in order.
7. Honesty
This fundamental virtue is essential in all relationships. Trudy Adams states in her essay TBH: 5 Reasons Why Honesty is Important, "The value of honesty is priceless." When you and your spouse are honest with each other; when you both think that honesty is the best way to maintain your connection, you are expressing how important your union is to you.
If you and your spouse are both honest with one other, you are lifting your relationship to new heights. You're not playing a guessing game; you both know where you stand, and that's the greatest way to develop together.
Honesty can be inconvenient at times, especially if what you have to say is challenging, but in the long run, it is preferable to deception, which can do irreparable harm.
If you and your spouse share this lovely fundamental value, your relationship is likely to thrive in the greatest way imaginable.
8. Self-discipline
You may be wondering what self-discipline has to do with this list. Allow me to explain. Assume you wake up every morning at 5:00 a.m. to exercise. You are disciplined in your dietary habits, keep your home tidy, and postpone pleasure for future rewards.
You hold self-discipline in high respect. But what if your lover consistently pushes the snooze button? What if he doesn't get out of bed until 9:00 a.m., then dashes out the door with a bag of chips? What would your reaction be? In this situation, animosity might readily grow.
To avoid continual squabbles, it's critical to have comparable basic principles in this domain.
If you, as the self-disciplined spouse, don't care about your partner's habits, it may work; but, if you're very self-disciplined, you may demand the same from your mate.
9. Self-improvement
We were warned that many marriages ended in divorce at this period of the program when I was working on my Master's Degree. It was then stated to us that if one spouse is on the path of learning and self-improvement while the other remains static, the couple's distance may deepen.
Consider this a red flag if you are always striving to be the greatest version of yourself and your friend is unwilling to move beyond the information he or she learned in high school.
It's natural to want to share fresh information when you discover it. And who better to do it with than your partner? If they are not interested, you may experience disappointment and frustration.
You'll be on your path to a successful relationship if you both learn and grow together.
I recommend Mel Robbins' blog article, You're Growing, But the People in Your Life Aren't, for further information on the importance of self-improvement in relationships. This Is What You Can Do. She offers some helpful suggestions for managing self-improvement and growth with your relationship.
10. Finances
In order for your partnership to thrive, you must have comparable beliefs and goals about financial management. If one of your main principles is to save money for a rainy day and your partner's is to toss it away like it grows on trees, it will wreak havoc on the most fundamental aspects of your relationship.
Financial infidelity, according to Dave Ramsey, jeopardizes the future of your relationship. Making major financial decisions without telling your spouse demonstrates a blatant disrespect for the partnership's economics and the relationship itself.
Your underlying financial values must be the same, or both the saver and the spender would be frustrated. Yoki Noguchi writes in her essay Keeping Money Secrets From Each Other: Financial adultery on the Rise, "If you don't share the same core values on finances, it will more than likely lead to lying on the part of the partner responsible for the financial infidelity." The deception will result in lost trust and emotions of betrayal. This is really tough to restore.
Make certain that you and your honey have the same underlying financial principles. This will build a stronger connection and a future in which two of you, working together, will define your financial future and all that it entails.
Final Thoughts
Core values are strongly held convictions. These ideas govern how you act in your life and with others. Having a significant other who shares similar ideas is a fantastic compliment to the relationship and the foundation of good relationships.
Having said that, your basic ideals may shift during your life. When you're twenty, you may have one set of values, and then encounter experiences that change those values when you're in your thirties, forties, and beyond. Still, whatever changes occur must be coordinated with your partner's for your relationship to succeed.
If you enjoyed learning about core values, please share this article and some of your relationship's essential principles.
